Stalklight
by egyptianxgirl519
Summary: This is a quick 1 chapter parody! I hope you guys enjoy! Please R&R!


Stalklight

Hi my name is Ella. Ever since I moved in with my dad in Spoons, weird things began to happen. On my first day at my new high school, I noticed this guy named Eddy. He was so...mysterious. Plus, he had a really good head of hair. A few days later after my first day, I wanted to go into a very convenient forrest right next to the school. I decided to go there right after dismissal before my dad got home.

As I stopped walking and chose a place to sit down and do my homework, I heard something. I spun around to find Eddy there staring at me.

"Eddy," I said, keeping my legs from running away, "You never go in the sun, you're really quiet, you don't talk to anyone but your equally creepy siblings, and you always seem to show up everywhere I am. I know what you are."

Before I knew it, Eddy was right behind me.

"Say it. Say it out loud. Say it!" He said awkwardly to the back of my head.

"You're a stalker." I said taking a big step away from him.

" You're righ-Wait what? I am NOT a stalker!" He exclaimed his voice getting higher.

"Yes you are." I said picking up my things to get out of there as soon as humanly possible.

"No I'm not! I'm a vampire!" He yelled with a smirk on his face. He walked over to me with a constipated look going over his face.

"Then why aren't you biting me?" I asked crossing my arms.

"I only feed on animals. I don't harm humans." He said trying to look tortured.

"Are you serious? Are you Angel? Joss Whedon called, he wants his plot back." I said dryly. He seemed not to get the joke. It was obviously such a clever reference to the T.V. show Angel. "So how can you walk around in the day? Aren't you supposed to burn or something?" I asked, arms still crossed.

"When I walk into the sunlight, I sparkle like a million diamonds." He said the smirk returned to his face.

"Oh do you now?" I asked skeptically.

"I do! Look!" He said, ripping open his shirt. He was extremely pale and hairy. H e walked into a random beam of sunlight. He was covered in sparkles. "See!" He exclaimed.

"I see the open tub of body glitter behind that tree." I said pointing at the tree to the left of him. Plus, the sparkles looked totally fake. He looked at the open tub and quietly buttoned up his shirt. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Do you sleep in coffins?" I asked.

"No that's a myth." He said in an uppity voice.

"Do you not see your reflection in the mirror?" I asked.

"No that's just a myth. How else would I keep this complicated hair style looking so perfect?" He said chuckling.

"So are you changing all the rules now?" I said throwing my arms up in the air.

"What do you mean?" He asked, confused again.

"I'm done with this!" I yelled, turned around with my backpack on my shoulders. I ran out of there, got into my truck, and drove away as fast as my sorry excuse for a car would go. When I got home I told my dad about my stalker and he could only think of one solution. I had to move to California with my mom. I was fine with it because I prefer sunny weather, but it annoyed me a little. It was only my fourth day and I was already leaving. I had to leave because of creepy and crazy guy. What did he think was going to happen with us? Would we fall madly in love, get married, and have a baby? Is he psycho? What would we name it? Renesmee? No, that just sounds stupid. A few days later my dad was hugging me at the airport. He gave me a kiss and finally let me go from the death grip he called a hug.

"I'm sorry all of this happened, Ella. I wish you could stay but we both know that would put you in too much danger." He said a frowning.

"Yea I wish I could stay, too." I said looking at my shoes.

"Okay you got to go now or you'll miss your plane. Have a good flight. I love you." He said trying to put on a smile. It wasn't really convincing.

"I love you, too!" I fake smiled back at him. We said our goodbyes and I rand to catch my flight. When I got on the plane, a wave of relief washed over me. I felt better because I was finally leaving Spoons. No more Eddy, thank the Lord.


End file.
